Terrified to RememberForbidden to Forget
by Bellasblood
Summary: My first fan fic.It starts after Edward leaves Bella and Bella falls in love with Jacob....but Bella still has enemies after her...please read!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer-I don't own anything from this story. Stephenie Meyers does :

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**_I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare._**

"_**Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.**_

"_**Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.**_

_**I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed.**_

"_**Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.**_

_**There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.**_

_**He was gone.**_

Reflecting back onto the situation of Edward's department made the hole inside me chest scream with pain. But that had been months ago and it was becoming easier with each months passing.

Jacob Black has been the most compassionate and stubborn person I have ever met. He watched me turn from a zombie to well almost a whole human again.

But then having to find out that he was a werewolf and couldn't be friends with me bout ripped that hole open even more. But then I fount out the truth and we are joined at the hip like nothing happened.

Since Edwa-_his _departure I have been going down to La Push almost everyday and spending time with Jacob and the gang. I think Charlie has been thinking that Jacob was my knight and shinning armor and that I couldn't find a better boy. _Boy_ was an understatement. I swear every day Jake keeps getting taller and taller.

Sometimes I dream of me and Emily spending time together cooking for our boys and waiting for those howls to let us know that they are coming home. I use to feel sorry for Emily and what Sam did to her face but every time they are together the whole room fills up with their love.

Jake and me were going to be like that. His Bella, waiting for him to come home so that she could cook for him and love him with all of her heart. I do love him with all of my heart but what happened that one day would change my life forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"_It will be as if I never existed"_

I woke up screaming into my pillow. I sat up gasping for breath, trying to fight away the tears that surfaced in my eyes. Even though its been almost a year the dreams have still been as horrible as the first one.

This one was sort of different. They always start out with me in the forrest with Edward, having the talk. After he leaves I start stumbling through the forrest but instead of Sam and the wolves finding me, it was a vampire whos face I cannot see.

I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower and to change. After I got out of my short not hot shower I quickly brushed my teeth and went down the stairs pulling my hair up into a wet bun as I went.

"Hello Bella", Charlie said with a smile. Ever since _he_ left Charlie always tried to cheer me up with a smile. I forced a smile on my face and greeted my father.

"Hey dad. Would it be okay if I went to La Push today with Jacob and the guys? He was talking about taking me to see some of the old caves up in Cape Alava."

Charlie looked at me with his worried father look but then said, "I guess Bella. Just be careful and don't fall down". I smiled at him and kissed him on the top of his head, "Don't worry dad I'll try not to."

I literally ran to my truck and jumped in starting the roar of it made my heart flutter as I knew that I was only minutes away from my Jacob. _My Jacob._ I loved knowing that he was mine and no one elses. I was never the lovey-dovey type until….. well now things are different. Jacob makes me happy and that's what matters.

In no time it seemed that I was at Jacob's house. As I pulled up on the curb I saw him standing on the porch grinning in my direction. I jumped out of the truck after turning it off and went up to greet him. He pulled me into one of his massive bone crushing hugs and kissed my head." Hello Bella love, are you ready for some caves?"

I looked up and smiled at him,"Charlie told me to be careful so make sure I don't fall in one". He looked at me and laughed,"I wouldn't let anything happen to you Bella. Now lets go!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As me and Jacob jumped into the truck and took the rez to get to Cape Alava, I started to day dream. My daydream consisted of me finding the meadow again. I knew deep down that it wasn't a smart idea to go find the one place that Edward and I could be alone with each other that was filled with our love.

The hole in my chest started to ache so I turned towards Jacob and smiled at him, "So what's so special about the caves in Cape Alava?" I asked him. He turned towards me and smiled while I tried to keep my eyes on the road, "Well, it's an old place that has these caves that my ancestors used for rituals."

I smiled as I thought of Jacob's ancestors in their warrior paint doing rituals.

We arrived at Cape Alava going through a little forest to get to the coast. I parked my truck at the end of the forest and we got out walking towards the caves, holding hands. I started to shiver at the cold wind coming off the water so Jacob put his arm around my shoulders. I was so happy I had a warm boyfriend, even if he was a giant werewolf.

As we started to walk towards the cave Jacob was talking but then he stopped, and looked at me with an apologetic smile," Umm, I forgot to tell you that we have to climb down in the cave to get to it ". I looked at him with my sad little face but then sighed, "I guess it will be okay, as long as the stones are not slippery."

As Jacob jumped down the 10 foot entrance I gasped as I watched him do it. I started to slowly go down the rocks sliding a little on the way down. Finally, after getting wet and having a sore butt, I made it down to Jacob. He laughed at me as he pulled me to a little pond in the cave, "It's said that this pond has spiritual water that heals the body and soul and was supposed to reveal what you heart truly wanted".

"Give me your hands, "He said, "And look into the water with me". We stood there looking into the water but I don't know what Jacob saw but when I looked into the water, I saw _his_ face.

"_Bella, my love, do not do this to me. I love you"_

I let out a gasp and a scream and felt tears rush to my face. I looked at Jacob and started gasping and started to climb out of the cave busting my head open while tripping on a jagged rock. I could hear Jacob yelling up after me. I didn't stop until I got to the truck noticing I was soaked in my blood. I ripped up an old t-shirt and tied a bit of it around my head to stop some of the bleeding. I lay down in the truck holding my chest and sobbing until Jacob opened the door.

He got into the truck and pulled me into his lap and I noticed his face was wet a little and he was frowning. "What did you see, Bella? You are bleeding; we have to take you to the hospital!"

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and felt the rush of unconsciousness. Before I felt the blackness take over, I saw me finding the meadow.


End file.
